March Madness is upon us and another member of the MBR club is getting married, which means only one thing:  Bachelor Party in Vegas.  This time tomorrow I’ll be basking in the warmth of the Paris Hotel and Casino to kick off the greatest weekend I will never remember.  Since I undoubtedly will be on no sleep, a constant intake of watered down drinks, and a general malaise for the Vegas “”group mentality””, it’s probably good to relive the memories now when I’ll enjoy them more.  Therefore, here is what I can only expect will occur over the next 5 days…

• Buddy will lose $10 in the Las Vegas Airport casino slot machine and immediately hop on a plane to go home.
• Henry will go to Tony Roma’s alone, just to say he finally made it there.
• Ben will stop by the Luxor and pay his annual fee to relight the pyramid light for the year
• Grant will accurately and publicly identify all of the girls in the Paris hotel bar who are in fact “”ladies for hire””. (only to prove he can, then smile and walk away)
• Geoff will take the place of Brian Hage at the Lindee’s 4am dinner table … and eat my grilled cheese.
• Danny will convince everyone he does indeed want to go to a big name bar/club, only to sit at the table and watch ESPN on the television the whole time.
• Goldfine will emerge as the true MVP for 2009, dropping benjamins like chump change.
• Yanow will show up Saturday night on a last minute flight and steal Ben’s scooter.
• Berdass will disappear and come back a millionaire Monday morning.
• And I, of course, will lose all of my savings, inheritance, retirement, and dignity in a 72 hour binge weekend. I’m better off staying at the pool for 3 days straight … and to be safe, I may just do it!