Rules of Life: Mobile Phone Use

You all know that I love cell phones.  I scour sites like precentral, endgadget, phonescoop on a daily basis looking for the latest tidbits of news, reviews, and gimmicks.  However, even though I lust for technology innovation, I still recognize the restrictions and regulations society is owed (i.e. one conversation at a time people.  If ordering food, lose the phone).  I used to joke that “I hold the world in the palm of my hands,” but these days it is becoming literally true.  With great power comes great responsibility, and thus it is necessary to establish the rules of life for cell phones…

  • You don’t need to turn off your phone in a movie, but simply changing to “vibrate” is not enough.  Taking out your phone to text, google, or email in a dark theater is just as bad as picking up a call.  I paid $10 to see Hugh Jackman decapitate bad guys, and I don’t need to see your LCD screen brighten up every 3 minutes.
  • If you are on the phone and enter an elevator, your next sentence had better be, “sorry, I’m in an elevator, I’ll call you right back.”
  • During business meetings, it is acceptable to put your phone on the table in case an important call comes in.  However, do not answer it unless you plan to leave the room.
  • Similarly, do not text message, email, or web-surf from your device during a meeting, you may as well hold a sign up that says “I don’t care to be here”.
  • If you have a cooler phone than I do, its only fair that you offer to let me play with it.
  • If you don’t offer to let me play with it, I am allowed to pick it up on my own.
  • When a cell-phone accidentally drops in a toilet, don’t try to save it.  Its gone, accept it.
  • If we are talking and you get another call, tell me one of two things:  “I’ll call you back” or “I’ll get rid of them”.  Don’t leave me hanging!
  • Texting is cool, but if you are just sending small talk like “busy tonight?”, don’t bother.  I am in no mood to write a book back to you, just call me.  However, if you can somehow phrase the question in good text-message etiquette (such as “what bar and when?”), then please do.
  • Don’t call during a concert to play my favorite song for me.  Not only can I not hear a thing Bon Jovi is singing, but I can’t hear your explanation either.
  • BBM is no different than SMS, so quit giving me your sales pitch for BlackBerry (Fink).
  • Listen up all you Apple OCDers:  10 years ago PalmOS was the greatest platform on earth, 5 years ago RIMS set the standard, and yes, 2 years ago iPhone shocked the world.  But, things always change.  There will always be something better and I wouldn’t be surprised if WebOS shakes things up yet again.
  • If you are still using a Sanyo flip-phone with T9, you are either my father or simply anti-evolution.

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