Day 96. It was difficult to say goodbye to Happy and Queen Angel this morning. It was so much fun (for me, not Happy) to include more family on this journey, and last night was a great way to end it together. Oh, and the run of nice accommodations weren’t too shabby either … 5 of the last 6 nights were in a warm bed.

But all things must pass, and the common trail life I’m accustomed to is back. I hit the trail at 11am, after spending an hour fixing yesterday’s video (it should work now, for those who got error messages), and enjoying one more family breakfast. For those keeping count st home, Happy was once again ecstatic to have waffles.

It’s funny how quickly the trail life sets in. Within 5 minutes, I felt like I was back in my familiar routine. Almost immediately, I saw Hungry Cat (a hiker I knew) and hiked an hour with him, catching up on trail gossip. I last saw him with Tarzan and Happy Feet outside Daleville over a month ago. Apparently Happy Feet is only a day behind us, so I may see her soon, but it sounds like Tarzan is much further back.

Then I ran into Reboot, an older hiker I walked s few days with in Pennsylvania. He and I hiked another 10 miles together through the Connecticut ups and downs. We agreed that this state is like one long roller coaster, with short river walk breaks along the Housatonic River. At lunch time, he informed me that Fresh Ground was a few miles up ahead doing trail magic, and if we hurry we could make it for dinner before he packs up. You may recall that Fresh Ground does traveling magic along the trail all year, and gave me a much needed breakfast after my abysmal day in Port Clinton.

We booked it through the forest at a close to 3.5 mph pace, arriving just in time for burgers, baked beans, watermelon, hard boiled eggs, kool-aid, and grilled cheese. This guy is a character, and extremely giving so I hope I am lucky enough to see him again. I asked him for a photo so I don’t forget the face of such kindness (above). Hungry Cat was also there with us, and when we couldn’t possibly eat another bite, all 3 of us headed sluggishly back up the trail.

We saw some amazing sights today, including a racetrack (with live race in action), a huge split boulder we had to squeeze between, and a MASSIVE waterfall called Great Falls. The trail literally hugged the falls and allowed you to walk right out on top of it. Scary as hell to be above it, looking down, knowing one slip and you’re a dead man. But also very, very neat to experience it so closely. Here’s all 3 of those sights in photo, which don’t do any of them justice…

I wanted to have a big miles day to start catching up with my timeline, but eventually my feet begged me to stop. Actually they screamed it. Loudly with every step. My brain wanted to do more, but my feet told my brain to quit being an a-hole and stop. My a-hole did not mind the reference and sided with my feet. My back would have also supported my feet’s demands, but it was busy crying in pain itself. Let’s just say every part of my body said STOP in unison, as I haven’t done more than 12 miles in 2 weeks. I wanted to go at least 20 miles, but decided 17 will have to do unless I want an appendage mutiny in my future.

Reboot fell behind, going into West Cornwall for the night, but Hungry Cat and I set up camp at a stealth campsite near to the oddest landmark, called “Giant’s Thumb”. This well-named site is a huge 10 foot tall glacial erratic sticking out of the ground, surrounded by a dirt sitting area on the top of a wooded hill. I’m not sure what’s its purpose is, but I’d bet it’s been here a very long time and likely has some significant historical meaning to natives of this area. The guidebook doesn’t say much though, so it’s just a wonder to ponder. Connecticut’s Stonehenge or Easter Island, I guess.

Tomorrow I cross the 1500 mile mark, some epic views along the Taconic Range, and the border to Massachusetts. It should be a tough day, hitting 4 huge peaks and going above 2000 feet elevation for 3 of them … and it’s supposed to rain. Just another typical day of slick ups and downs on the Appalachian Trail.

Hello Neiman (Sharkbait)

• Start Mile: 1479.5
• Start Time: 11:00
• End Mile: 1497.3
• End Time: 19:10
• Miles Hiked: 17.8
• Miles to Go: 693.6
• Lodging: Giant’s Thumb stealth campsite

(video updated)

Day 95. Today was my birthday, and I celebrated doing the same thing I have done the past 3 months … hike. Ok fine, I did a bit more, but I also hiked. Happy, Queen Angel and I hit the trail at Kent in the morning, and hiked 5 miles together along a very steep and treacherous path. After they departed, I continued on for another 5 miles to Cornwall Bridge. This terrain was flat and beautiful, as it followed the Housatonic River. I had to laugh, as this now marked the 2nd time Happy missed the easiest terrain of our trip. I learned a few new swear words when I told him this later that day. Then we had a nice dinner, toured Kent, and went to a really cool old fashioned drive-in theater to see the Star Wars Solo movie (it was just ok).

But … it is after 9 great days of hiking together, that I am sad to say Happy is headed home. It has been a great adventure, as we navigated the twists and turns of this trail together in NY and CT, but his planned time on the trail with me is now over. My pace was slower than usual, but my company was better, and we’ve got jokes and stories for years to come from this journey.

I couldn’t think of a better way to end the time with him than my week 13 video, capturing all our favorite moments together (above). It’s been an amazing week and a half, quite the adventure to say the least, and I wish it wasn’t coming to an end so soon. In fact, I asked Happy if he wanted to continue on for another week of rocks, snakes, and mosquitoes. He replied, “Go to hell.”

I still have 700+ miles to hike before this journey is done though, and there’s no time to waste. The section together was fantastic, but I am technically 2 days behind schedule. Unless I want to skip more miles (I don’t), it’s time to hit the trail again in earnest tomorrow. Lastly, Happy was a great addition to my story, and would like to share his opinion one final time…

Herein lies the official and verified memoirs of Tom Neiman on his Day 9 (my Day 95)…

A unique and forever memorable experience. I know many of you reading this are wondering why I agreed to come out here and backpack with my son. It was for the extraordinary opportunity to adventure together … which, in retrospect, I would have rather done in my backyard.

Ok, maybe I really didn’t anticipate the degree of challenge that this trail might present to me. I did, to the extent I could, prep for this trip. I made a fool out of myself, walking around the neighborhood with my backpack and boots for two weeks. I put up with the cat calls and “where are you going, mountain man?” from various neighbors and unknown hecklers in passing cars. But I endured all this, thinking that being physically prepared would make all the difference on the trail.

However. I might have possibly overlooked the mental preparation needed. In retrospect, to truly prepare for what I was to undertake, I should have enlisted in the marines and gone off to boot camp for at least two and a half years. It’s not that Mike didn’t forewarn me of the challenges and to be a minimalist with my gear … but how could I exclude all my believed-to-be essential items to surmount the obstacles I would encounter? I can’t tell you how glad I am to have carried my 1 lb Teva sandals for the zero river crossings we faced.

Optimism was my greatest enemy. Mike told me that the Appalachian Trail consists of a variety of terrains. I have since learned, somemany almost all are extremely rocky, offering death-defying hiking … while others are occasionally trails one could almost, maybe enjoy. You might think I’m just exaggerating, but for my final hike today, we literally scaled rock walls that required the finesse and dexterity of Spider-Man to safely reach the bottom. I’m not kidding you, this trail was a survival of the fittest that few likely live to tell about.

I learned about trail protocol and etiquette … like don’t crack jokes in passing to surly thruhikers. There are a variety of hikers you’ll encounter … some are gracious and friendly, others I wouldn’t want to meet under any circumstances anywhere at any time. You see, it seems that many thruhikers lost their peace of mind somewhere between Pennsylvania and meeting me. However, fortunately I learned the secret AT handshake (bumping fists), which roughly translates to, “This sucks, I hate you, I hate me, and I hate everything in the world.”

This has been a unique adventure, but although I am a veteran backpacker, I never could have anticipated some of the experiences that I encountered. I will never forget our first day, crawling up Anthony’s Snot Nose from the Hudson River, nor my “spiritual awakening” at the Graymoor Center. But if there ever was a moment of doubt in my sanity to take on the challenge of the AT again, it was climbing over, under, around and through hundreds of blown down trees at Canopus Lake.

I can’t say I am now an accomplished, seasoned AT hiker, but I had a taste of the experience … and don’t ever want to see it again. All jokes aside though, I had a great time with my son and understand the passion he holds for this journey. Mike promised an adventure, and an adventure I had. I enjoyed the best companionship and camaraderie that I’ll never forget while with him.

p.s. My counselor in the group tells me it’s now time to take my medications, so I’ll have to end this here. They say I might be released in 4 or 5 years…

Hello Neimans (Sharkbait and Happy)

• Start Mile: 1468.4
• Start Time: 10:45
• End Mile: 1479.5
• End Time: 16:45
• Miles Hiked: 11.1
• Miles to Go: 711.4
• Lodging: Fife ‘n Drum Restaurant & Inn

Day 94. Today’s word of the day is humidity. Humidity humidity humidity humidity. When we walked out of our Pawling room at 8am this morning, it was already a hot and muggy day. The temperature never got above 85, but it felt like hiking through the Everglade swamps of Florida as the day went on.

But before hiking, breakfast! As you may recall, Happy has been (literally) dreaming of a decent hot breakfast all week, and finally got a chance to feed his hunger. We went to McKinney and Doyle for breakfast and he had a giant Belgian waffle that put the biggest smile I’ve seen on his face in 8 days. The fuel for Happy’s happiness is clearly comfort food.

Next we had to coordinate the day’s plan. I already knew cell service was spotty along the trail at the CT border, but didn’t know what to expect beyond. Happy was not interested in hiking the full 11 miles in to Kent, so instead would take a cab directly there, check into a hotel, then dayhike backwards to meet me. I would hop out of the cab at the border and hike North, as usual. So I get my full miles in, he gets a more relaxing day, and all would be well.

In general it was, but damnit if those 11 miles weren’t tough. The humidity made every mile feel like 2, there were 3 or 4 big peaks to scale, and then there were the bugs. Have I mentioned the bugs on any blog posts yet? If not, let’s be very clear … the infamous summer insects of New England have definitely made their presence known. Very well known. Annoyingly and incessantly known. All week, I’ve been swatting away mosquitoes, gnats, and teeny tiny biting no-see-ums (midges). And today they were dining on my sweat-soaked flesh like like there was no tomorrow. The midges are the worst, as you can barely see or feel them until it’s too late … and they leave a nasty red welt that itches like crazy. I spent all day swatting, shooing, and scratching these bastards to no avail.

The worst of it though, is how they buzz in your eyes and ears, driving a normally sane hiker to tears and fits of rage. More than once, I stopped in my tracks, flailed arms worthlessly around my head, then screamed into the sky. No joke, I screamed. Loud. At least 4 times. With no other purpose than to expel my frustration in a more satisfying way. I’ve decided that it is tie to don my mosquito head-net. It won’t save my arms and legs, but maybe, just maybe, it will keep them out of my %#&$@* face. Say a little prayer for me.

Side note, if the midges are able to fit through the mesh of the net, tell my wife and family I love them. I’m sacrificing myself to the AT gods and jumping off the first cliff I see.

Ok, back to hiking. Around 2pm I called Happy to check in and was delighted to hear he had been hiking south for some time and was only a half mile ahead of me. I told him to wait there, as he was atop a small summit, and quickened my pace. But when I got to the top, he was nowhere to be found. I hiked on another third of a mile and then got worried. Did I pass him somehow? Did he accidentally hike north? Was he even on the right trail??

Now, my dad can hold his own on a hike … but we already know his feelings of this trail, and his comfort level upon it. So, I started to worry and envisioned Happy wandering aimlessly through the forest, delirious from dehydration, and desperately pleading with the chipmunks to point him in the direction of a white blaze.

Fortunately, just as that thought popped in my head, I heard a yell. “Sharkbait!” Yep, it was Happy. He was causally resting on a log about halfway up the mountain. When I told him of my worries, he responded with “Oops, I thought this was the top.” Yes, the false summits of the AT have fooled their 872,518,384th hiker.

We hiked the last 2 miles back together, only to find one more surprise at the bottom of our steep descent. Trail Magic! Happy got to meet his first magicians at the Schaghticoke Road intersection to Kent, as a 2017 thruhiker named Tumbleweed was sitting in the shade with a friend. They had cold water, soda, donuts and beer. Beer! Words can not describe how great that ale tasted after today’s muggy heat.

We swapped the usual hiker facts (start date, finish date, trail name origin, etc.) and took a photo to commemorate the joyous moment (above). As Happy is almost done hiking with me, I’m so glad he got to receive some trail magic before heading home. Now he can say he had a full AT experience. Tumbleweed also offered to drive us the 2 miles to our hotel in Kent, which was just frosting on the cake. If you are reading this, thank you Tumbleweed (and friend)!

We are staying at the Fife ‘n Drum an upscale Inn with attached restaurant, bar and gift shop. It’s old fashioned and pricey, but a very nice place to stay in town. All of Kent is pretty expensive actually, so there aren’t many alternative options. It’s a stark difference from the $20/bed rates in Franklin and Hiawassee, but that should be no surprise to hikers. It is well known that accommodations get more sparse and more expensive as you hike North.

My sister is here tonight as well! She drove a long 6 hours to get here and join us for Happy’s last weekend on the trail with me. We will dayhike together the next couple days, and enjoy the spoils of these adorable Connecticut towns. On Monday, she will drive Happy back to DC to meet Mrs. Happy and spend some quality grandparents time with the kids. But for now, it’s just us 3 on vacation … which hasn’t happened in over 30 years. We had to capture the emotion of that moment in the photo below (sorry Mirra and Mom, you are missed).

My dad has nicknamed my sister “Queen Angel”, as she has been an overly-amazing trail angel to me on my thruhike. Four times now, she and her family have driven out to meet me and provide respite from the rain and ramen dinners plaguing me. It’s been so incredible to have their support, and this is the best of all. To help get my dad back home, allowing me to hike on without break, is a great aid. Queen Angel indeed!

Side note, she isn’t done yet. The whole family is still planning to meet me in New Hampshire to hike the white mountains (even though I’ve warned her of its difficulty). It’s an adventure the kids are looking forward to, so I’m looking forward to seeing them one last time before the end.

Hello Neimans (Sharkbait and Happy)

• Start Mile: 1457.5
• Start Time: 11:05
• End Mile: 1468.4
• End Time: 16:30
• Miles Hiked: 10.9
• Miles to Go: 722.5
• Lodging: Fife ‘n Drum Restaurant & Inn

Day 93. Well, we are back in Pawling for another night. As predicted, Happy took a healthy Zero Day today and spent his day enjoying the pleasantries of this small town. His knee was hurting him this morning, so we agreed it’s good to play it safe. I was antsy to hike though, so we also agreed to split up for the day so I can still hit the trail.

Before parting ways, we talked with Susan of the Station Inn and leaned that the rooms were already booked for tonight, but that another room next door could be available for the same price. We carried our stuff over to the law office building next door, and up to the 3rd floor where the rental room was located. Another nicely remodeled place, more like a 1 bedroom apartment, with plenty of room to spare. We got Happy all setup, then headed out for breakfast.

If there is one thing missing from Pawling, it’s a good breakfast place. We were stuck between a bakery and a Mexican deli, opting for the latter. It was good enough, and gave me a chance to practice my broken Spanish, since the only person working there did not know English. They had a menu on the wall in English, but the nice old Hispanic lady who worked in the kitchen was clearly not normally in charge. We more or less understood each other, though breakfast ended up being greasy scrambled eggs with tomatoes and onions, a dry toasted torta bun, and french fries. Not exactly the “vegetable omelet with home fries and toast” that was advertised. Still, it tasted great to me.

Then I called a cab and hit the trail. As soon as I started, I knew Happy would be upset to sit this day out … it was definitely the easiest terrain to date in NY. And although humid, it never rained! I hiked 10 miles through flat pastures, fields, and wide road-like paths to the Connecticut border, where I called it a day around 4pm. No need to go crazy with another 20-mile Nero Day, this was halfway to Kent, and I don’t need to get there until tomorrow night.

However, I was more concerned with getting back. The further I hiked, the further from Pawling I got, the less busy the roads got, and the less cell service I had. When I reached the border, I was roaming with one bar, and had no easy way to get back to town. I tried hitchhiking briefly, but the road has a fast speed limit and people weren’t stopping. Finally, I decided to walk back along the road until I found reception to call the cab company. About a half mile later, I finally got through and had a car coming to get me.

Side note, no Uber or Lyft out here the past couple days, but Julio’s Taxi service was a life saver! Not in the guidebooks, but found it as a comment in Guthooks for the town of Pawling. Calling Julio (846-855-8585) has saved us from long walks to town 3 times now, and he’s pretty affordable. I highly recommend everyone use him, as he services all the way to Massachusetts if needed. He’s already scheduled to come back for us tomorrow morning.

With a good hiking day had, it was nice to come back for dinner and a bed. I’d probably prefer to stay out on the trail to save some money and have Happy meet me in Kent tomorrow, but this way we get to spend another evening together. My time hiking with him is quickly coming to an end, so I’m enjoying the time together while I can. The trail and it’s solitude will be there waiting for me when he is done.

Hello Neimans (Sharkbait and Happy)

• Start Mile: 1447.6
• Start Time: 11:40
• End Mile: 1457.5
• End Time: 16:10
• Miles Hiked: 9.9
• Miles to Go: 733.4
• Lodging: Station Inn Pawling (annex)

Day 92. Happy and Sharkbait are on a roll! We are almost hiking like two legitimate thruhikers on the AT. After last night’s early evening, we were up around 7am and on the trail by 9. Everyone else was gone by then, of course, but it was a good early start for us. We had nearly 9 miles to hike today, but the terrain was excellent and we made great time with a steady 1.5 mph pace. We hiked around the beautiful Nuclear Lake (a perfect lunch break and rest stop), and arrived at our destination before 3pm.

Side note, we ran into Scutch and Apollo today! These two lovebirds have now met half my family, as we continue to leap frog each other during our long travels. It was great to see them (briefly) as we caught up for a few minutes during a water break. Happy was extra happy, because friendly faces means he gets to tell his jokes again. We groaned laughed, then parted ways for the umpteenth time … knowing it won’t going to be the last.

We walked on and quickly reached the hike’s end at a road crossing. Then I was hit with a realization … I’d been so preoccupied not worrying about our daily miles lately, that I completely forgot what was waiting for us at the road to Pawling … Dover Oak! The largest tree on the Appalachian Trail. At 6 feet wide, it is estimated to be over 300 years old and was quite a surprise to stumble upon. We took a few photos and then called a cab to Pawling 3 miles to the south. I would have been ok walking this, but Happy was beat after that long hike, and I can’t blame him for wanting a break.

The town of Pawling is about 2 blocks long, but absolutely beautiful. Unlike the trail towns of the south, this is full of life, character and money. No hard feelings to residents of Erwin, Atkins, or Port Clinton … but you can’t really compete with NY and New England towns. There is a laundromat, book store, deli, bar, pizza place, bakery, CVS, and a dozen other small town shops that are a joy to visit. I almost feel out of place as a hiker, but I’m past the point of awkwardness for my homeless hiker look.

Side note, got the new backpack and I have a very good feeling the Exos will work out. It’s not perfect, but fits extremely comfortably. I wish it had hip bent pockets, and if I lose 5 more pounds the hip belt won’t fit again … but if I lose 5 more pounds, I have much bigger problems. I don’t think there is anything safe left to lose!

We got super lucky on a room for the night also. The AWOL guide only lists a motel about 5 miles north in Wingdale, but a quick google search found a new place called the Station Inn Pawling with rooms available. It appears to be a house undergoing new renovations to convert to an upscale B&B, and in the interim, has 2 rooms available to rent. The normal cost is $150-200 a night, but the owner (Susan) was overly-gracious to provide a hiker rate and allowed Happy and I to stay in both rooms for $50 a piece. An incredible bargain for such beautiful accommodations! I told Susan she needs to contact Guthooks and AWOL to be added to next year’s guides. I imagine they won’t be too busy on weekdays and could support the AT community. If other hikers come through here, I HIGHLY recommend you call the Station Inn, though cannot guarantee you get such an amazing deal. The only downside is the train that rumbles through every hour, but that’s nothing new to us thruhikers.

As hinted yesterday, my wife’s aunt and uncle came up from Westchester to meet us for dinner, and took us out to another MUST-STOP for hikers. Big W’s Roadside BBQ is an amazing casual restaurant in Wingdale that has some of the best BBQ in New York. I’m still licking my lips over the burnt ends and brisket sandwiches we devoured. We ran into a few other hikers there as well (as its next to the Wingdale Motel mentioned earlier) … one of whom said this was his second meal there already today! Warren is the owner, originally from Brooklyn, and a very friendly proprietor we spent time chatting with. I’d hike this whole damn trail again just to eat here another time. New York is seriously spoiling me with its food, I mean look at this spread!!

Damn, I love NY and it’s amazing food. As for the weather … fortune smiled on us again today, as we escaped any signs of rain. It is definitely coming though. Tomorrow looks to be a 50/50 chance of showers, and Happy is contemplating a Zero day if it does. I agree with this idea, as this is as good a place as any to take a day off, and we are both a bit nervous of him traversing these darned steep AT rocks when slick with rain. He could do it, but unlike me, he doesn’t have to.

If he does rest here (assuming we can also get another night at the Station Inn), I’ll slackpack hike on without him tomorrow, then meet back up at Pawling in the evening. The only goal at this point is Kent, CT by Sunday, and either option will get us there in time.

Hello Neimans (Sharkbait and Happy)

• Start Mile: 1439.1
• Start Time: 09:05
• End Mile: 1447.6
• End Time: 14:50
• Miles Hiked: 8.5
• Miles to Go: 743.3
• Lodging: Station Inn Pawling

Day 90. The escapades of Happy the newly branded AT Hiker continue on, and dare I say, today they take a positive upswing. I know my readers have enjoyed his torturous tale, but don’t be fooled … he actually had a good time today!

It was a beautiful morning along the trail in NY, albeit a hot one. The temperature hit 90 degrees before the day was done, but we were fortunate to be mostly cool in the shaded trees. The few times we did venture into the sunlight, it was to enjoy a scenic view and photo op like the one above looking over Canopus Lake.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. First things first, last night was a beautiful and calm one at the state park. There were about 6 of us in the field, so we enjoyed a nice fire and talked hiker talk (mainly about gear, as usual) until early in the evening. After that, no rain, no wind, and my tarp tent was a cozy home until morning. I dare say, even Happy had a good time.

Today’s hike was finally a good one in his book too. The terrain was almost all flat, and the trail nearly all an easy dirt path. Not too many rocks, not too many climbs, and don’t tell Happy … but I think I may have even seen a smile on his face once or twice. After a quick stroll, we finished today’s 5 miles by 2pm and walked up to the RPH Shelter.

And this shelter is quite impressive. It is an old cabin that was donated to the AT, opened up on one side, and converted to a hiker shelter. It has picnic tables, bunk beds, a water pump, CHAIRS, and more … it even gets pizza delivery. I dare say it is the best shelter I would have slept in.

I say would have, because Happy decided he was done smelling like a dirty hiker and wanted a shower, bad. Since the shelter is off a residential road, we called a cab and headed to nearby Fishkill for a motel. I can’t say I’m too upset myself, getting a bed, shower, and laundry is always a welcome treat. As I write this, we are digesting the largest chicken parmigiana dinners either of us have ever eaten, and laughing hysterically to a Marx Brothers movie on TV.

This was also a good time to stop in a town, as our food was running low and we both needed a few resupply items. Tomorrow we go back to the trail and head to the Morgan Stewart Shelter, then we’ll reach Pawling, just 1 day behind schedule. It sounds like we will stick to our plan of a motel that night as well, so once again I’m living the life of AT luxury.

It’s a really nice change of pace, to hike slow and do single digit miles, and it has allowed my to see more of the trail’s surroundings. I also don’t need to stare at my feet to avoid rocks anymore, which is of course nice. Today I witnessed a colony of giant beetles building a hive-like structure, a family of baby geese crossing the road, and a huge kingsnake slithering near the trail (Happy saw this too, I’ve never seen him jump that high nor run that fast). I don’t have the luxury of maintaining this pace forever, but I’m enjoying it while it lasts. Having my dad come join me out here is fantastic, even if he refuses to show it.

Actually, today he may finally admit it. After 4 days on he trail, he has finally enjoyed himself enough not to complain too much. However, complaining or not, there’s always a story …

Herein lies the official and verified memoirs of Tom Neiman on his Day 4 (my Day 90):

(From Happy): It has been said that adversity and hardship breeds character … right now I feel that I am overflowing with character. It’s not that yesterday’s trail was difficult, it was just near impossible by the end. Then we camped in an open field the size of a football stadium, and passed the evening pleasantly with some other section hikers. It’s true I was fairly exhausted, but I could not fall asleep as soon as I’d hoped … it was a night of bizarre dreams. Don’t ask me why, I don’t know. But I had some of the most vivid technicolor dreams I’ve ever had. They involved long stories with me arguing with Mike about where we were going to go for breakfast. All I can remember is that we argued, it seemed, for days on end. And finally, I agreed to compromise and go to iHop.

I still can’t figure it out, but I somehow ended up exiting my tent … next thing I know, it’s 2:14 in the morning and I’m standing in my underwear in an open field, waiting for a car to pick us up and take us to iHop. I eventually realized I was not sleepwalking nor dreaming, and there was no car coming in the foreseeable future to get me.

I woke up this morning feeling the equivalent gastronomical disappointment, as I knew there was no chance of enjoying pancakes at iHop nor anywhere else anytime soon. They say that dreams are made of whimsical experiences, but I sure don’t know where this one came from.

By the way, I failed to mention that getting out of my petite 1-person tent is reminiscent of Jim Carry’s exit from the mechanical rhino in Ace Ventura When Nature Calls … it truly is a birthing experience, rivaling only my spiritual awakening.

Then today came. Today was a happier day. The hiking was excellent, the company was excellent, the trail was excellent … and the motel we are staying at tonight is excellent.

Please understand, we desperately needed to have a shower and do laundry. The motel staff insistent on giving us free car wash coupons. We told them we don’t have a car. They said, we know … trust us.

All is well in Fishkill tonight.

Hello Neimans (Sharkbait and Happy)

• Start Mile: 1425.1
• Start Time: 10:15
• End Mile: 1430.1
• End Time: 13:50
• Miles Hiked: 5.0
• Miles to Go: 760.8
• Lodging: Inn at Arbor Ridge (Fishkill, NY)

Day 89. I won’t sugarcoat my blog entry, today’s hike was far from easy. It started out great, with a long restful night into a late casual morning at our serene campsite by the creek. But then we started walking, and the evil AT Gods laughed at us while we made our way North again.

I should take part of the blame for today’s low moral, as I thought our stop was 4 miles earlier than it really was, and Happy was not too thrilled to learn this news when he thought we were done. But the real blame goes to the NY AT trail maintenance crew for creating a rocky boulder path for us to traverse INSTEAD of walking along the beautiful Canopus Lake below. Or to Mother Nature, for sending a tornado through the trail last week that decimating every tree in its path, creating many strenuous and frustrating detours.

This was a bad day for hikers who are not used to these tests of will, and I dare say Happy was ready to book a plane ticket home by the time we finally finished. There was a “happy” ending though, as we made it to Clarence Fahnestock State Park in time to get a hot dinner from the concession stand. And, the weather looks clear all night for camping in a big field again.

Speaking of field, I am trying something new tonight. When I backpacked in Alaska a couple years ago, I only brought a tarp for a tent and slept on the ground. I knew trees would be hard to come by in the Denali National Park mountains, and it was very doable and comfortable. Since there is minimal wind and no rain expected, I decided to do the same tonight using my hammock tarp. With a couple hiking poles and stakes, it is very roomy. I’ll let you know tomorrow if it was a failure.

Speaking of failure, my dad would say it is a word that describes today perfectly. Our hot meal and campsite is nice, but it far from makes up for his day of pain and torment. In fact, he’ll take it from here …

Herein lies the official and verified memoirs of Tom Neiman on his Day 3 (my Day 89)…

(From Happy): First off, before I continue with today’s adventure, I need to take one last parting shot at the previous day’s shelter experience. I was so inspired by the evening’s events, that I decided to lead the rest of the hikers in a conga dance to the portapotty. Needless to say, it was an experience worthy of a picture … but no one would let me take it. So ends my “spiritual awakening”.

Now on to today. I can’t say how invigorated I feel after carrying my backpack for several days now. In fact, I felt so invigorated last night, that I went to bed at 5pm. Are you familiar with bio feedback? It involves being able to assess and communicate with your body and it’s status at various moments. Well, mine stopped communicating before the end of today, and all I heard were gross expletives to describe the state of affairs.

After a brief respite of 16 hours of sleep last night (true, 16 hours!), my one thought when I woke up was, “what part of my body is not suffering pain and anguish?” I did a quick bio scan, only to discover that the bottom of my left earlobe was the only body part still willing to communicate with me … and even it was angry.

Let me digress for a moment, I forgot to mention an all important fact for hiking the Appalachian Trail. We utilize some state-of-the-art equipment out here. One of these specialty gear items is a plastic recyclable Smart Water bottle, used for holding our drinking water. Unfortunately, Smart Water bottles also require smart backpackers, because before you can drink from them, you have to figure out how to pull off a small plastic locking tab. Mike finally found me desperately chewing off the top of the bottle, since I was unaware of this engineering requirement. My experience with that lends me to believe we will find dozens of fellow backpackers dead on the ground, as they could never figure out how to detach the water bottle top.

Now, as for today. Mike has already informed you that there was a “slight” discrepancy in the distance required for today’s hike. It was not a casual 4.5 mile jaunt in the wilderness, as it turned out to be an 8 mile “do or die” forced march to our final destination: Lake Bataan (known to the visiting public as Canopus Lake). Yes, it was a reincarnation of the Bataan Death March from World War II in the Philippines.

Now, I can appreciate a challenging hike. But, the pathway took us up a series of rocky cliffs for the duration of the day. I thought that this was enough to discourage any mortal … but no, it got worse. The closer we got to “Lake Bataan”, the more fallen trees were strewn across our path. I appreciated the fact that Mike showed me how easy it was to step over these countless fallen trees. Unfortunately though, all 5 foot 3 and 3/4 inches of me did not even match the height of Mike’s inseam. I was reduced to crawling under the trees, or if I was lucky, I could barrel roll over the tops of them (with assistance).

As we grew closer to the Cafe Acorn (the concession stand at the state park), visions of grilled salmon or a wagu steak danced in my head. We made it to the “cafe” shortly before they closed, and I found myself enjoying the delicacies of a Chicken McNugget covered in melted cheese on a bun. An epicurean experience I will NEVER forget.

Have I forgot to mention? The storm knocked out all water from the park, and my dreams of having at least a heavenly hot shower were quickly dashed, bringing me to tears and ultimate despair. I can’t stand smelling like a garbage can for one more day.

I can’t begin to tell you how much fun I’m having.

Hello Neimans (Sharkbait and Happy)

• Start Mile: 1417.5
• Start Time: 10:30
• End Mile: 1425.1
• End Time: 14:10
• Miles Hiked: 7.6
• Miles to Go: 765.8
• Lodging: Clarence Fahnestock State Park

Day 88. Just after I posted last night’s blog, it started. To describe the 50 person bonfire party accurately, let me borrow a scene from The Lord of the Rings:

The ground shakes. Drums, drums in the deep. We cannot get out. They are coming.

It was like a scene out of a movie. A parade of adults marched down the road, led by drums, guitars, and fiery torches. When they arrived at the sports field, a 20 foot bonfire was lit to the sounds of cheering, chanting, and song. I don’t think it was a religious party, per se, but the Spanish-speaking group had a song-session of loud religious-toned songs until just before midnight. Maybe a movie is the wrong reference, it was more like an end-of-year celebration at summer camp. Instruments, songs, games, laughter, reverberating loudness through the night … you get the idea. I was very tempted to sneak up for a candid video, but didn’t want to be rude. So instead I recorded a song from the darkness of my hammock and laughed to myself. You can see hear it below.

I did a good job of ignoring them with earplugs, but Happy was not so successful. When we recapped in the morning, I learned he was up through it all, and long after, so he did not have the best night’s sleep. He actually ended up moving under the pavilion shortly after they left, so he could at least avoid an early morning wake up call from the rain. It did not help though, as raccoons and early rising hikers terrorized him loudly in the morning. Even still, he rested as much as he could and awoke ready to take on the day. Albeit, an agreed upon slightly shorter one than I originally planned.

We hiked about 6 miles, at the same 1 mph speed as yesterday. The terrain was much kinder today, but after the torment of yesterday (and night), we both agreed to play it safe. I helped by taking the tent for him, though truthfully it was more to appease my concerns than his. There were a few tough rock boulder sections Happy was introduced to today, but they were more or less manageable. We were also spared the bad rain day the weather predicted. In reality, it barely sprinkled at all, and only for an hour or two. We didn’t even need raincoats, which was a pleasant surprise!

All told, I’m very impressed that a 71 year old man can carry 40 pounds on his back and traverse this trail so smoothly and with such a positive attitude, but that’s my dad for you. Ever young at heart and ready for adventure.

That’s not to say he liked the AT today. Oh no, far from it. The feeling after hiking 6 miles was that he’s very glad to be done, and that he can’t quite figure out how I’m able to make it look so easy. “Three months of practice”, I said with a smile.

We ended the day around 3pm at a small stealth campsite on the far bank of a stream. It is not an official site, but is a nice small clearing for tents with a fire pit. We set up camp, cooked dinner, and lit the campfire I wanted yesterday. It was a nice change to have the wilderness to ourselves tonight. We relaxed peacefully by the embers and discussed plans for tomorrow before calling it an early night. Happy was asleep by 6pm, I stayed up a bit longer to enjoy the fire in the chilly night air.

Although I would prefer longer hiking days to put more miles behind us, I’m very much enjoying the comfortable pace that Happy is setting for us. We may do a similar short day tomorrow, then hopefully his body and lungs will have acclimated better for some 8-10 mile stretches. No pressure or rush though, we’ll take it one day at a time.

Oh, I also finished last week’s video and don’t want to delay publishing it further, so check it out below!

Hello Neimans (Sharkbait and Happy)

• Start Mile: 1411.3
• Start Time: 09:00
• End Mile: 1417.5
• End Time: 15:15
• Miles Hiked: 6.2
• Miles to Go: 773.4
• Lodging: Stealth Campsite

Day 87.5: Herein lies the official and verified memoirs of Tom Neiman on his first day (my Day 87)…

(From Happy): After assuring me the route and trail conditions were “a piece of cake”, my son proceeded to hike me across the Hudson River bridge, only to inform me that the mountain ahead of us (Anthony’s Nose, though I now call Snot’s Nose) was to be summitted, much to my dismay and future excruciating pain.

It’s not that I minded crawling several miles on my hands and knees while carrying my hiking poles, but the bodies strewn along the side of the trail began to catch my attention. This so-called piece of cake hike was actually a centuries old piece of hardtack. However … when we got to the top, much to my surprise, I was still breathing. After the shock wore off, we proceeded on a meandering set of ups and downs until we reached our camping destination. The Spiritual Life Center.

I have to admit, despite my pre-hike prepping … I was prepared to offer myself up as a sacrifice. Our accommodations were spartan, but acceptable, as anything short of sleeping on a 6-lane Highway would have been permissibly to me by this point.

What were our accommodations like? It was a shelter with a 4 foot high cement perimeter, and open above that to a roof 5 feet higher. Mike did his best to put a positive spin on the accommodations, however, I would have had to have been extremely dizzy to accept this as anything short of a KOA Campsite. But true to form, in his cheerful and supportive manor, Mike proceeded to sweep the floor with a broom that had no broomstick. As I said, it was a “spartan shelter”. I have plans to send them a donation of a broomstick in the not-to-distant future.

By the time I had almost given up the ghost of hope to rest a little, we began to meet with other AT hikers. One guy setup his hammock and gear in the dead center of the shelter, preventing anyone to setup anywhere near him. I had all but reconciled myself to accept the inevitable (not being able to sleep all night), when 2 individuals approached us in a not-so-spiritual way. They casually informed us that the Taj Mahal we were in had been reserved 6 months prior for an evening’s spiritual awakening, with 50 or more adherents to their cause … and that we had to move.

Now, some people would have found this situation daunting. I, however, accepted this fact as nothing short of devastating. Mike and I, and our fellow compatriots, wondered the field before us aimlessly, searching for any acceptable camping spot. The field itself was somewhat bereft of trees, and Mike’s only option to hang his hammock was on the edge of the field overlooking a cliff. We finally managed to put together a modest but equally unsatisfying freeze dried dinner, and awaited the impending spiritual awakening.

We knew it was going to be one of the more spectacular events on the At, because they piled enough firewood and logs to start a minor forest fire. And true to form, when the vanguard of the group came to light the massive bonfire, the flames shot 20 feet in the air (not joking). It was at this time, I began to concern myself with whether a spiritual awakening required burnt sacrifices. And then the fun began…

Marching down the road to the shelter, sporting drums, guitars, bongos, and other assorted instruments, the awakening began. We enjoyed the harmonious singing of these individuals for the better part of the next hour an a half. We finally knew it was coming to an end when the ground (and our tents upon them) stopped vibrating. I decided, against my better judgement, that sleeping on a cement floor would be more comfortable than the uneven field I set my tent on. So when all appeared safe again (midnight), I moved my headquarters to the shelter for what I thought would finally be a relaxing night of sleep.

Not to be outdone, a family of raccoons, inspired by the night’s activities, decided to carry on the party until 3am by banging on and tipping over the garbage cans in the vicinity of the shelter. Sticking earplugs in my ear, and tendering my soul to God, I went to bed for what I thought may be my last night on this planet earth.

p.s. I’m hoping to discover one part of my body that is not suffering pain and anguish. More on this later…

p.p.s. I fear I may now be permanently spiritually awakened.